Trump is a Fucking Traitor

After he laundered money for the Russian mob, paid off a bunch of porn stars, and raped a few girls on Jeffrey Epstein’s Rape Island, Donald Trump went on to repeatedly welcome attacks on our elections by foreign governments in order to win them. He is, quite simply, a fucking traitor.

It started when he demonstrated that he’s Putin’s Bitch (“Russia, if you’re listening”), it was reinforced during his interview with George Stephanopoulos when he said he would accept foreign help, and now it has been shoved in our faces like a giant turd with the Ukraine whistleblower story, where he admitted to the world that he sought dirt on his political opponent from a foreign power.

Traitor Trump

The Mueller Report failed to establish an explicit conspiracy with the Kremlin, but any moron can see that when Trump’s son Fredo sought dirt from the Russians and when his campaign manager, who was working for free and in debt to Oleg Deripaska, passed polling data from the crucial swing states to an agent of the Kremlin, it was fucking treason.

When the #PussyAssBitch sided with murderer and autocrat Vladimir Putin over his own law enforcement and intelligence agencies in Helskinki, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh it was fucking treason.

Putin’s Bitch

When this orange-faced reality show clown took Kim Jong Un’s word that he didn’t torture American hostage Otto Warmbier, it was fucking treason.

And finally, when this Adderall-sniffing shitgibbon asked the President of Ukraine EIGHT times to dig up dirt on his political rival in exchange for taxpayer money – our money allocated to defend against Russian aggression, It. Was. Fucking. Treason.

My definition of a traitor is a person who works against their own nation with the assistance of a foreign power. He meets that definition.

Fuck this traitor.

ASMR is Finally Cool

This is so worth the nine minutes.

I mocked ASMR in 2010 on my website and created a prank whisper video that ends with the music from Psycho and an image of Pennywise the clown. Then I started listening to ASMR videos (soft-spoken only, thank you) and still listen to them often. Everyone has called me a weirdo for loving ASMR for like, 8 years.

This video brings my love of ASMR and my hatred of Trump together in one hilarious bit from Bill Maher with help from Moby.

https://youtu.be/wPi2QcQVCuY

I Was Wrong

Even though I have been wrong about many things, I still have hope that maybe things will work out. Here’s hoping.

Admissions

1. I was wrong about Trump losing the election.

2. I was wrong about Trump being quickly removed from office.

3. I was wrong about my fellow Americans putting ethics above tribalism.

4. I was wrong to think that overwhelming evidence of criminal conspiracy in the report would force Congress to impeach and convict Trump.

5. I was wrong about Congress being implicated in the report and being put into a position to impeach.

6. I was wrong about Trump’s children and Jared Kushner being indicted for financial and other crimes.

7. I was wrong about dozens of people in Trump’s orbit being charged in the social media conspiracy with the Russians.

8. I was wrong about Mike Pence and Paul Ryan being implicated in crimes.

9. I was wrong about William Barr being a good guy.

10. I was wrong to insist that everything will be alright and that justice will be served.

11. I was wrong to become addicted to MSNBC.

12. I was wrong to put so much hope into analysis & reporting on Twitter.

Justifications:

1. Because the Russians helped him

2. Because of the Constitution

3. Because I am naïve

4. Because, even if a narrow definition of criminal conspiracy was met, which it was not, the Office of Special Counsel “determined not to apply an approach that could potentially result in a judgment that the President committed crimes…fairness concerns counseled against potentially reaching that judgment when no charges can be brought. The ordinary means for an individual to respond to an accusation is through a speedy and public trial, with all the procedural protections that surround a criminal case.” In other words, the report was never going to make any sort of criminal accusation because that can only be done at trial.

5. …so far

6. …so far

7. Because EDVA hasn’t established yet that WikiLeaks coordinated with the GRU (Mueller was still investigating WikiLeaks-related matters in March of 2019). The Mueller Report clearly connects the Trump campaign with WikiLeaks, and the Roger Stone case clearly connects him with both the GRU (Guccifer 2.0) and WikiLeaks. So once the connection is established between WikiLeaks and the Russians, POOF we have evidence that people in Trump’s orbit illegally conspired to disseminate stolen materials. And POOF we have an underlying crime to drive charges of obstruction either through impeachment or after Trump leaves office. POOF. Treason. Bill Barr said it himself at his press conference; if the publisher was involved in the hack, then distributing their propaganda is a crime.

8. …so far

9. Cannot be justified

10. Because I am naïve

11. Cannot be justified

12. Hope is the only thing that keeps me sane

I believe that many, if not most, of the mysteries that were not solved by the Mueller Report are either one of the 12 ongoing Grand Jury cases or part of the counterintelligence investigation referred to the FBI.

These include:

  • The communication links between the Trump Tower server, Alfa Bank, and Spectrum Health
  • The nexus of Cambridge Analytica with Facebook, WikiLeaks, and the Trump Campaign
  • The coordination of disinformation/messaging between Fox News and the Russian state
  • Obstruction of justice by members of Congress
  • Russian money laundering in GOP campaigns
  • Everything ever done by Erik Prince and Jared Kushner

I no longer believe that Trump will leave office before his term ends, but I definitely would like to be pleasantly surprised. And I have no idea what will happen in the future.

Here’s hoping.

William Barr is Vomiting Right Now

There’s a lot of speculation that William Barr is sitting on the Mueller report either deciding what to do, redacting it or, in my visualization, repeatedly vomiting with terror after reading the entirety of the report and realizing what he has to do next – allow his friend Bob Mueller to indict several dozen people, including the president and his family, in a conspiracy to defraud the United States while knowingly assisting a hostile power’s act of war.

He also might be considering the choice of whether to allow an existing sealed indictment or two on Trump, filed under James Comey, to become unsealed while he is a sitting president. There is speculation at Patribotics that The Donald is under a sealed indictment for obstruction of justice in addition to a RICO charge for laundering Russian money via the Bayrock real estate deal. There’s also speculation that any criminal wrongdoing found by Robert Mueller might not allow for the indictment of a sitting president. That would mean that the indictment would be delayed until he leaves office.

Regardless of what is happening, let’s remember Barr’s testimony while under oath to Congress. He said “I told (Trump) how well I knew Bob Mueller and that the Barrs and Muellers were good friends and would be good friends when this was all over.” There is also reporting that Bob Mueller attended the wedding of two of Barr’s daughters.

So think about it. Visualize it with me and imagine that you are Bill Barr, who didn’t volunteer for the job, and your long time friend Bob Mueller walks into a secure briefing room to deliver you the report and tells you about what he has found – a truly shocking level of willing cooperation with a hostile enemy’s attack.

If this responsibility were placed on my shoulders like it has been placed on the shoulders of Bill Barr, I would either be literally shitting myself or puking my guts out. Just sayin’.

The Great American Bowel Movement of 2019

We are living through the greatest bowel movement of American history; sitting in the middle of something that’s really shitty with no idea what lies ahead. It’s a giant BM.

But in a few months, time will be known as B.M. – Before Mueller.

And when 2019 A.M. arrives – After Mueller, we will feel like we took the greatest dump of our lives.